Sometimes it feels like most of my energy goes into trying to hold it together. The never ending struggle to keep things as they are, or as I think they are supposed to be.
One day, I just woke up feeling exhausted and ashamed for not being able to go through a day without feeling like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Healing and tending to my mental health is a full time job. Some days are just plain hard.
I remember, during a very challenging season in my marriage, we went to grab dinner at a burger joint. Have some "quality time" together. On a table next to us, there was a young couple with two kids. Somewhat they were managing to eat, share some light conversation with their friends, AND keep an eye on the toddlers. I wondered, how do they do all that? How do they do life, and parenting and talking to friends? I could barely chew my burger without crying. That day I just couldn't do “quality time”, be a wife, or eating for that matter. I was ready to just drop the ball and fall apart, right there... in the middle of a burger joint.
A few days later it landed on me, the exhaustion came from this "keeping it together" mentality. I was holding on to an idea of how my healing and my marriage should be. There was no space for me to reconcile the ideal with reality. So after an ugly fight, and thinking that I just couldn't carry on like this... This image formed in my mind...then a phrase: LET.IT.BURN.
What happens when we let go of the idea of how things are supposed to be? What unravels when we stop fighting our own reality, and just let it all fall apart? What truths are uncovered when the dust settles and you can see things for what they are?.
Now, stand in that clearing and imagine what can you create anew.
Little Raging Warrior Blog - Mental Health/Salud Mental
Here is where I share the insights of my healing journey with a sincere hope that it can help anyone who might be going through the same.
This is my story, please be kind and hold it in your heart.
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Aquí es donde comparto los aprendizajes de mi recorrido a sanar, lo hago con la esperanza de ayudar a cualquiera que se encuentre en una situación similar.
Esta es mi historia, te pido que la recibas con compasión y la guardes en tu corazón.